Minority life can be one of the greatest redeeming instruments of God, for how much healing is there for the one who leans into what God may be teaching through the amalgam of emotions that is felt in one instance of feeling Different?
Most of us aren't even aware of those emotions. We've learned how to survive. We've acquired a certain Black Pride that cloaks us with false security and a sense of superiority for what makes us different. But Black Pride does not transform us into Christ-likeness. Christ broke down the wall of hostility. Black Pride supports those who would rebuild it.
Why do I bring this up? It's an awkward subject. Who wants to talk about feeling and being different? I avoided it during my first couple years in the Navigators (while I was a student and while I was on staff.) Actually, on staff, I've been able to avoid it because I work with mostly people of color.
Well, a few weeks ago, the Lord showed me that I have been living with a gaping wound related to the color of my skin. He showed me that since I was 8 I've been believing that my brown skin is not beautiful. I grew up believing that light-skinned people (whether black, Hispanic, Asian, or white) were luckier, more beautiful, and more apt to having a better life than I was. I envied them. And I hated my own appearance.
And while Christians would you use Psalm 139 to affirm my beauty, it was always linked to who I really am on the inside. That's what really matters, right? They never emphasized the skin God made me in.
And you may wonder what led to such a false belief. Without going in great detail and to spare those who contributed to it, it was pronounced over me as child. "You are not as beautiful as _________."
I hadn't realized I struggled with self-image. I suppressed these thoughts and yet lived out of them. And this affected the way I related with lighter folk, even in Navigators. Rather than enjoying people, I compared myself to them and competed with them. And lets not even get into situations where even Christian friends contributed to making me feel different. Even at STP, a friend came up to me and said, "Laura, I saw 7 black people today" because we were working in a predominately white area. And he;d say, "Laura, can I touch your hair"every time he saw me and then proceed to ask me many questions about my hair or about black people in general.
I usually responded with pride, but that didn't bring healing. A couple weeks ago, God brought up all the emotions I'd been holding in sense I was young. I cried my eyes out. Literally, ha ha!!! I sobbed like a baby! What a deep wound!
And the Lord graciously spoke. "Your brown skin is beautiful. I made your brown skin. And it is beautiful."
I broke the lie in prayer that my skin isn't beautiful, that I'm not beautiful and therefore undesirable/unloveable/unwanted and he gave me Psalm 139:13-16:
13For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
14I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.[a](R) Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16Your eyes saw my unformed substance;in your(U) book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
My mother is light-skinned. And for the first time I can receive her affirmation. God formed me in her womb. Both of us are beautiful. Me with my brown skin. She with her light skin. And guess who else is beautiful? The white people who surround you.
Don't miss what God may have for you wherever you are just because you are different. You are both beautiful, just as God made you, cultural differences and all!
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
God. Cares. For. You.
Is it unusual for a human being to fail to walk in the ways of the Lord?
Is it unusual for a human being to not trust God?
Is it unusual for him or her to be totally concerned about their well-being, security, and success?
Is it unusual for people to worry about how they will eat, what they will wear, where they will live, how they will pay for school books or for anything else they need for that matter?
Of course not! That is why Jesus graciously teaches us in Luke 12:22-34 that the rest of the world thinks this way. He is not surprised when people who do not know him worry about such things, because they don’t have the assurance of God’s love and care to keep them. He is not surprised when they fail to walk uprightly, because He said that we can do nothing apart from Him. But God’s children should be different.
Sure we struggle. And to us, Jesus says in Luke 12:28, “O you of little faith!” He says that the Father knows that we need these things. Read Luke 12:1-34 even. We are of more value than a flock of sparrows. We are of more value that the ravens who neither sow or reap, nor do they have a storehouse or barn, and yet God feeds them. God cares for us more.
And because God cares for us, we need not worry about what we cannot control. We need not worry about how God is going to provide. We must only trust.
We serve and love a God who loves us. And we love Him because He first loved us! Let that sink in a bit.
He says, “Come to me for my yoke is easy and my burden is light. I will give you rest.” God is good.
He says, “I know what you need. Seek my kingdom, let me take care of you.”
The world (those who don’t trust in Jesus as the one who died for their sins and rose for their faith) is prone to selfish living. They don’t know they can have a REAL relationship with such a God who satisfies the desire of every living thing (Psalm 145:16), so they live to take care of themselves, sometimes at the expense of others. But God has freed us to live selflessly, worshipping Him and loving others.
He says, “Seek the kingdom of God.” And then in Luke 12:32 He says “Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.”
Sister! Brother! There are riches in the kingdom of God (which has come!) that we have not yet tasted, that we have only begun to taste. And if we would turn our eyes from the world, if would rise from being brought low by the cares of the world, we would finally drink from the river of delights found only in God (Psalm 34:8).
But how? How do we partake of these riches? How do we seek the kingdom of God. I’m still learning how to do this myself, but I will say to you specifically that one way is to take courage and to go to the summer training program this summer.
I’m not sure what first prompted you to sign up to go, but I know when I signed up to go my first STP I just wanted to grow. I had seen the video that they showed at the time, and somehow I knew that the very thing that I needed to grow closer to God I would receive there. And really all I wanted was more of God.
Two months after I made the decision I had to commit to it by raising funds and then I began to have second thoughts, which I am sure you are having even now. I had never fundraised in my life (unless you count selling chocolate in elementary school) and I didn’t think anyone would support what I was doing because they had never heard of anything like this either. And it’s not like we were going on a missions trip.
I would be working at an amusement park. Working. Living in a hotel. With other Christians. Surely I could grow in the Lord at home and work at home and even “be a light” at home. But that is not what I sensed God calling me to.
I had to go back to when I first signed up. I wanted to grow. And getting away to be with other like-minded Christians seemed like a much more effective approach than sinking into the norm of family life and whatever else I could end up doing that summer.
I’m sure you’ve heard this, “When in your life will you be free to do something like this?”
But more than that, if you truly believe in what Jesus taught in Luke 12:22-34, that you need not worry about what you need, that he will care for you if you would only seek His kingdom, then what should you do?
Trust God with your funds! Trust God with your heart! Trust God with your friendships! Trust God with your school! Trust God with your financial aid!
By going to this STP, you are taking a step of faith in seeking God’s kingdom.
You are choosing KINGDOM business, nourishing your soul for the good of others and the glory of God. You will not come home the same.
And you will know that GOD CARES FOR YOU!
Is it unusual for a human being to not trust God?
Is it unusual for him or her to be totally concerned about their well-being, security, and success?
Is it unusual for people to worry about how they will eat, what they will wear, where they will live, how they will pay for school books or for anything else they need for that matter?
Of course not! That is why Jesus graciously teaches us in Luke 12:22-34 that the rest of the world thinks this way. He is not surprised when people who do not know him worry about such things, because they don’t have the assurance of God’s love and care to keep them. He is not surprised when they fail to walk uprightly, because He said that we can do nothing apart from Him. But God’s children should be different.
Sure we struggle. And to us, Jesus says in Luke 12:28, “O you of little faith!” He says that the Father knows that we need these things. Read Luke 12:1-34 even. We are of more value than a flock of sparrows. We are of more value that the ravens who neither sow or reap, nor do they have a storehouse or barn, and yet God feeds them. God cares for us more.
And because God cares for us, we need not worry about what we cannot control. We need not worry about how God is going to provide. We must only trust.
We serve and love a God who loves us. And we love Him because He first loved us! Let that sink in a bit.
He says, “Come to me for my yoke is easy and my burden is light. I will give you rest.” God is good.
He says, “I know what you need. Seek my kingdom, let me take care of you.”
The world (those who don’t trust in Jesus as the one who died for their sins and rose for their faith) is prone to selfish living. They don’t know they can have a REAL relationship with such a God who satisfies the desire of every living thing (Psalm 145:16), so they live to take care of themselves, sometimes at the expense of others. But God has freed us to live selflessly, worshipping Him and loving others.
He says, “Seek the kingdom of God.” And then in Luke 12:32 He says “Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.”
Sister! Brother! There are riches in the kingdom of God (which has come!) that we have not yet tasted, that we have only begun to taste. And if we would turn our eyes from the world, if would rise from being brought low by the cares of the world, we would finally drink from the river of delights found only in God (Psalm 34:8).
But how? How do we partake of these riches? How do we seek the kingdom of God. I’m still learning how to do this myself, but I will say to you specifically that one way is to take courage and to go to the summer training program this summer.
I’m not sure what first prompted you to sign up to go, but I know when I signed up to go my first STP I just wanted to grow. I had seen the video that they showed at the time, and somehow I knew that the very thing that I needed to grow closer to God I would receive there. And really all I wanted was more of God.
Two months after I made the decision I had to commit to it by raising funds and then I began to have second thoughts, which I am sure you are having even now. I had never fundraised in my life (unless you count selling chocolate in elementary school) and I didn’t think anyone would support what I was doing because they had never heard of anything like this either. And it’s not like we were going on a missions trip.
I would be working at an amusement park. Working. Living in a hotel. With other Christians. Surely I could grow in the Lord at home and work at home and even “be a light” at home. But that is not what I sensed God calling me to.
I had to go back to when I first signed up. I wanted to grow. And getting away to be with other like-minded Christians seemed like a much more effective approach than sinking into the norm of family life and whatever else I could end up doing that summer.
I’m sure you’ve heard this, “When in your life will you be free to do something like this?”
But more than that, if you truly believe in what Jesus taught in Luke 12:22-34, that you need not worry about what you need, that he will care for you if you would only seek His kingdom, then what should you do?
Trust God with your funds! Trust God with your heart! Trust God with your friendships! Trust God with your school! Trust God with your financial aid!
By going to this STP, you are taking a step of faith in seeking God’s kingdom.
You are choosing KINGDOM business, nourishing your soul for the good of others and the glory of God. You will not come home the same.
And you will know that GOD CARES FOR YOU!
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